#i've seen people call it a tantrum and i guess that it is. but it's also very much afo at his lowest paradoxically embracing the part of him

[manlvrr]

I hate the CaitVi Sex scene

Everytime I see someone thirsting after the scene and gushing about how it's so hot, I feel so disgusted and ticked cause of how the scene came about and where it's located.

Before we get onto my rant about the scene itself, I want to mention the CaitVi scene that happened before that.

"She saved your life!"

"If you will just calm down for on-"

If you will just calm down for once? Hypocrite. Caitlyn's allowed to be pissy, allowed to call Zaunites animals (oh, "except" Vi though) and then fight like an animal by biting Sevika—

Sidenote:

That's also another scene I don't find hot at all. Any time I see it, I can't focus on how attractive Sevika is when she's smug (even though she totes is). All I can focus on is how Caitlyn bit Sevika. I don't remember who pointed it out, if it was on Tumblr or TikTok which I have promptly deleted since the ban, but someone pointed out that Caitlyn is fighting dirty—like a Zaunite. Caitlyn was backed into a corner, so she fought like an animal.

Fuck her.

I guess now she can somewhat understand why Zaunites fight the way they do. When you're backed into a corner, feeling helpless, feeling desperate, you fight like it and she did the same exact same thing she judged them for.

Bastard.

Lol can you tell I'm feeling bitter over her character?

Back to OG rant

—biting Sevika, gas the undercity and harshly interrogate someone who was a victim of Jinx's shenanigans, hit Vi for trying to calm her down from her grief driven rage, but oh, no Vi must calm down even though she's barely angry compared to when Caitlyn's angry. Not to mention that Caitlyn throws a tantrum herself and throws the tiny figure in her hand to the ground.

"—since you don't trust her enough not to shove her in a box."

Can we please take note of the tremble in Vi's voice when she says that? 'Oh, Jinx brought back her trauma from being in Stillwater!1!2!1' First of all, shut up. Second of all, yeah. . . So did Caitlyn?? Caitlyn may not have known what to do with Jinx, but the option for her to let Jinx go to prison was there and Vi hated it.

"Cait, she's changed."

"We can't erase our mistakes. None of us."

All the while not doing any time of her own for the crimes she committed—and no, I'm not talking about her gassing the undercity. What she did as a dictator, letting Noxians take over, and hardly doing anything afterwards even though she caused so much pain and misery to both Piltovians and Zaunites goes unpunished. Her losing an eye is nothing compared to the fear many people will feel while living under a dictatorship.

Get the guillotine!!

"Who decides who gets a second chance?"

Exactly. Caitlyn did no better than Jinx. She knows it too. It tears her up inside—as it should!!! Besides, did she think Jinx wasn't going to eventually get out of Stillwater? Or was one of her options to let Jinx rot there until she died? Yeah, I'm sure your girlfriend would love that.

Now, let's get to the scene itself!

But first let me talk about what happened right before that—

Vi tries to get Jinx on her side, Jinx rejects her, and Vi watches her sister leave while being told by her that Vi "deserves to be happy" and not to "worry about her anymore".

Yikes.

People say that what happened next with Caitlyn was Vi "finally being selfish", but it just feels wrong to me. Don't get me wrong, Vi deserves to enjoy herself after everything that's been done to her; however, you aren't going to have normal, healthy, healing sex right after seeing a loved one leave you for good.

Trust me lol I've had enough grieving/traumatic experience to know that you can feel upset for hours and won't immediately be able to get into a happy mindset even if you find something to entertain yourself with. You can have people try to cheer you up and you feel a bit better, but you still feel that lingering horrible feeling inside that will eat at you for who knows how long. You could give me Steb wearing the cutest little red panties I have ever seen in my life and I'd still be sad while trying to eat him out. You need to give me that like a day or so AFTER my little breakdown cause I won't enjoy it right after crying about losing my sis.

Sidenote:

Someone please remind me to draw that.

It would take at least an hour for Vi to get back to normal with the way she was reacting. At least. Vi was in that cell for who knows how long, but she was still upset and rather vulnerable when Caitlyn found her. No doubt she needed more time to get herself together.

Okay, now, let's get to the scene itself!!!

Bro, don't fuck me while I'm crying unless I'm crying cause I'm laughing too hard or because of sexy overstimulation. Fuck me? Nah, fuck you.

"I choose wrong every time—and because of it. . . I've lost everyone."

"Did you really think I needed all the guards at the HexGates?"

SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT AWWWWWUUUPPPPPPP—anyway,

Your girl is clearly upset, grieving her lost relationship with her sister (and likely other loved ones shes lost like Vander/Warwick), feeling guilty, and clearly not in any type of good mood yet your first reaction is to smirk???? You think this is funny?? Now is not the time to tease, Ms. Dumbass.

Vi needs compassion and reassurance not. . . Whatever that was. Yes, showing that you knew all along and didn't do anything to stop her shows that you do care for her, but it also isn't what she needs. Caitlyn did not reassure her that Vi wasn't going to lose her so easily.

Mainly because if she did, that'd be a lie, but that's neither here nor there.

"Sorry to say, you've grown a bit predictable."

Girl, you are not sorry. Quit lying. I can smell the smoke coming off your pants, but I'm not getting the fire extinguisher.

Again, this isn't what Vi needs. Any therapist would be able to tell you that you should seek healthier coping mechanisms other than sex. Does cuddling not exist? Does making out and then putting a stop to it because you realize your girl is not in the right state of mind for this exist??? Seeking sex after feeling so vulnerable and horrible about yourself is in no way, shape, or form okay. Shit isn't cute.

Caitlyn, you are more of an animal than you realize.

"Listen! While you were gone, I. . . Saw someone."

All of a sudden you realize that you should stop things because you feel guilty, but that guilt isn't over letting your girl go down on you after being upset and grieving, but about. . . Having another girl while she was gone???? Girl, seriously, your priorities are wack.

She does hesitate for a moment once she sees VI's injury (I can't remember where the injury came from. I stg if it came from Caitlyn or whatever Caitlyn ordered her to do. . .) yet she continues on. There are multiple reasons why they shouldn't do it right then and there, but Caitlyn is so horny she lets Vi pleasure her.

The reasons:

1. Vi is not in the right place of mind, she just lost her sister. Please let her grieve.

2. That is a jail cell. After what happened to her, their first time should be somewhere comfortable. Vi deserves comfort. She deserves to be spoiled. You're in Piltover, Caitlyn has a mansion with a really good bed, but your first fuck is in a dirty jail cell??

3. That is a jail cell that contained her sister. Vi can't reclaim shit about having sex in a jail cell if it's a cell that contained her sister. If there was better writing, she'd feel guilty over having sex in the cell she lost her sister. Her guilt isn't going to immediately go away because of one fuck. That's not how it works. Wish it was, but it's not.

Can I also note that Vi is the one pleasuring Caitlyn and not the other way around? Maybe Vi prefers to eat out rather than be eaten, but I think it just speaks more to her always servicing others rather than servicing herself or being serviced. If the sex scene was gonna happen, at least show Vi being completely selfish and enjoying herself by showing Cait be the one to kiss her down to her coochie. Maybe she's a stone top, but she gives off switch vibes to me.

Fuck you, Cait. Always wanting things to benefit you.

(If it was me, I'd eat Vi out, but, again, that's neither here nor there. . . She's not even in my top favs. I just want the best for her cause I hate Caitlyn lol.)

"I'm feeling fantastic."

FUCK YOUUUU

Okay *drops mic* , rant over

[jimmyjimjimjimmy]

Here's the fanfic you people asked for! ENJOY💖

You had been in the Resistance for quite a while now, about four years or so.

So you'd think you would have known that when you were running a fever of 103° that you should have stayed at the base instead of going out to fight, but here you are lying on the ground unable to pick yourself back up about to be shot in the head by a First Order trooper.

So this is how you die, pinned to the ground by nothing because you were too damn stubborn to take a sick day. It’s kinda ironic you didn't want to not help the Resistance by staying back but by going out you might have just given the First Order someone to get information from. But before the trooper could finally stun you you heard a yelling voice in the distance getting closer quickly.

“WAIT DON'T SHOOT THEM! PLEASE! OR I’LL FORCE STANGLE YOU!” That couldn't have been who you thought it was…. Could it?

You hardly had the strength to lift your head up to actually see who it was, but based off, of the trooper’s response you were pretty sure of who it was. Unless the trooper had a tendency to call everyone he didn't want to listen to ‘Darth Tantrum’ before being force strangled… To death. It was definitely Kylo Ren, the sith who was pretty damn sure you were best friends with. You had seen him in battle a few times and many of those times he had been waving and yelling hello, along with that he seemed to know your name, but he had never once gone after you or those you seemed to have been close with, not that he wouldn't go kill Resistance members but not any of your friends. Recently it was almost like he was going after people you actively didn't like or get along with. Which made you a little uncomfortable and meant you tried your best to get along with everybody you worked with.

At that moment your ‘friend’ Kylo Ren was picking you up very carefully, muttering something under his breath about First Order troopers being good for nothing, and how bad he felt for you, but by that point your eyes couldn't be bothered to stay open any longer.

~

When you finally woke up you didn't know where you were nor how long you were out for.

Well your first guess was that you were probably in a First Order base prison cell, but looking around the room you were in you decided it was far too nice to be a cell. I mean you had an actual bed with a pillow, and not just a metal block. Plus you had a nightstand which had many a thing on it already.

The first item that caught your attention was a small note with your name written on the front of it, you unfolded it and it read:

I hope you get well soon!❤️ Please enjoy some of my favorite secret chocolate granola just don't tell anyone about it it's a secret so ssshhhh

-Love Kylo Ren❤️

Ookkk weird, but nice nonetheless.

The bowl was overflowing with granola so much that there was a bit on the nightstand itself and on the floor, not to mention in the tissue box he had left for too.

You were a little worried to eat food given to you by Kylo Kriffing Ren but he was so oddly attached to you, so screw it. You took that risk and boy was it worth it because that granola tasted damn good, although it did feel horrible on your throat, but still worth it. After hardly making a dent in the granola you decided to go back to bed.

~

This time you woke up to Kylo Ren himself staring at you.

“Aaaaaah!*cough**cough*” You had fallen into a coughing fit, and before you knew it he was right by your side rubbing circles into your back and trying to hand you a cup of tea. It was a bit before you could actually take a sip of the tea, but you wish you didn't because it was the most bitter tea you had ever tasted, it was just awful. So awful, in fact, you had to spit it out.

“Oh.” Kylo said softly, “Sorry… I've never made tea before, is it really that bad.”

He sounded hurt, and when you turned to face him, there was a certain bit of melancholy in his eyes. You couldn't tell him the truth, for several reasons but the most important one being how sad he looked- And holy kriffing hell you could see his dumb apparently hot face… Jesus Christ of hell was he attractive…… Wait, what were you doing? Why were you staring into Kylo's eyes? Kylo's deep romantic eyes…. Oh yeah, the horrible tea.

“It's just terrible, but you're really hot so it balances. Wait no… Uuumm.”

“Really?”

“...Yeah.” At that moment you were very aware of how close your faces were, and how they were only getting closer-

BLAM!

The door was suddenly open and in the doorway was a First Order officer,

“Kylo Ren, what in the galaxy are you doing?!”

“Nothing.”

“Who is this?”

“The love of my life.”

“Is that a member of the Resistance?”

“No… And get out, Hux!”

“Wha-” but before he could finish his sentence he was force pushed out and the door slammed shut.

“Sorry about that. Granola?” He took the bowl of granola from the nightstand and switched it with your cup of tea. Kissing you gently on the forehead before wrapping his arms around you resting his head on your shoulder. You didn't know what it was about him but you felt weirdly safe… Or maybe it was the fever talking, Oh well who cares

you're comfortable nonetheless.

Which Villain would you most want to look after you when you're sick? 🤧

[theophagie]

Feeling very okay about the shift from "Yoichi, you're mine" to "Yoichi, I need you", and about AFO's outburst ( •ᴗ•) hello, upon-death admission of your insecurities and fragility. Mask's off innit

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 123 (Struggling Through 💕Love Day💕)

Conrad left Rafa at the abandoned shipwreck and made his way to the docks before he called Heather. "Thank the Watcher, you're okay!" she cried when the picture connected. "The precinct said the wifi in Sulani's terrible and to wait until morning, but I couldn't sleep last night."

"I slept a lot longer than I planned," he lamented.

"What do you mean? What happened?"

He smiled. "I ran into some trouble but I'm fine. I'll tell you all about it when I get home but everything's okay. Well, not everything...I found George and his wife in their villa."

"Why did they go silent?"

"The exact reason you'd think. (Especially if you're @changingplumbob and @matchalovertrait!) Now I've got another murder to solve."

Heather sighed. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"It's fine. I'm just at the docks waiting for the jetty to take me to the airport. I sent some evidence home with the bodies and I'll have to meet them on the other side."

"What happens to everything in town that George had his hands in now that he's gone?"

Conrad shrugged. "I guess we're about to find out."

"I'm glad you're okay. You're really all I want for Love Day, you know. Oh! Ash made tissue paper flowers for someone at school. He says he's not sure who he'll give them to, but I think he might have made them for Scotti Holiday. Maybe his teacher."

Conrad laughed. "Is it terrible to say I hope he gives them to his teacher?"

"Mmhmm. I like Summer and Travis, but she's..." Scotti Holiday was a nine-year-old mean girl, but Heather didn't want to speak ill of a kid and changed the subject. "The kids both made cards for you."

"I'm trying to get home before Love Day's over. I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

Heather hung up and found Lavender in the living room playing with Gord and a purple toy. "Drago rawrrrrr!" she cried, letting the winged creature dance on the end of Gord's nose.

The beautiful Bernese barked and played along, happily wagging his tail. Heather smiled. "Are you ready to head to daycare, Lavender?"

"I like home!" she cried, but she never protested too long and rarely threw a tantrum.

Heather helped her toddler into her outerwear as she locked up the house, and three-year-old Lavender glanced at her dog. "Watch house, Go-dee! See lay-doe."

The romantic spirit of Love Day filled the air at the clinic, as unflirty Heather witnessed her vet techs, Kaori and Rico, struggle to hide their new affections. Even while he mopped up after sick pets.

The radio was playing nothing but love songs, and Heather retreated to the bathroom for a moment of peace. Conrad was fine, she reminded herself. He might even make it home before the end of Love Day. But now that George Brindleton was dead, the town he held together might be about to split apart at the seams. She was worried for it.

The restroom's garish wallpaper didn't calm her nerves, and as she grabbed a glass of water she dreamed of the swatches her architect in Evergreen Harbour had sent over through the winter. Spring was coming soon, and then she'd have a clinic remodel to worry about, too.

While Heather stressed her way through Love Day, Ash left school on Deadgrass Isle. He was full of chocolates handed out by his teacher and feeling energetic, jumping down the steps two at a time. He'd held on to his tissue paper flowers all day, unsure who to give them to until the end of school bell.

Heading toward the docks, he noticed an old man sitting alone on a bench overlooking the wild waves of the sea. Ash had seen him before, but he wasn't supposed to talk to strangers.

They made eye contact, and the old man looked surprised when Ash threw up his hand in a wave. He seemed like a nice enough man to talk to, and Deadgrass Isle was crowded with people at this time of day.

His friends, Arron Kalani and Scotti Holiday, headed toward the ferry to the mainland. "Ash, are you coming?"

"I'll take the next boat, I'm okay!" he said. "That old man looks lonely over there."

Scotti looked behind him in confusion. "What old man? You're kinda strange sometimes, Ash Landgraab."

Undeterred, Ash walked the path to say hello, dragging a heavy backpack full of books for extra credit behind him. Maybe the old man was the right person to give his paper flowers.

"Hello, sir. Are you alone out here?" Ash set down his bag, which immediately started to pick up big crystals of snow from the isle's notoriously heavy snowfall.

Ben looked at the child, startled and uncomfortable. He'd never been good around children, and his years as a ghost on an island populated with a school hadn't changed anything.

"Y-you can see me?" ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

WCIF: Main image created with Canva's free Vintage Blank Notes Instagram Story template. Something a little bit different to mark the holiday but also their distance apart. It also pays tribute to Ash's paper flowers which I wasn't sure how to recreate in game (they're from a pop up which dictated this scene and the next episode!)

When Valentine's Day rolls around, or before then, I'll make it up to Conther for having to deal with murder investigations for my plot instead of having a nice lil' Love Day together. Maybe we'll even get another event I can play with!

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

you know what's the funniest thing in all of this.. i bet a good majority of people being weird about ofmd. the ROMCOM. centering queer romance. were absolutely frothing at the mouth imagining their special man in a romantic plotline with a variety of characters

exactly this exactly this. if Izzy had ended up in a monogamous relationship with some Flint Blacksails lookin motherfucker they would have nothing to say at all but now that Izzy is dead it's all "cisgender monogamous gay ship played by reassuringly straight actors" (this one is pretty much word for word won't link because I'm vague posting) and "look at how David Jenkins talks in interviews about queer romance being important when he killed the one character whose arc was very much queer and very much not romantic." (citation needed on Izzy being the one character with a queer non romantic arc but I guess Wee John continues to be chopped liver to these people) (this one is also basically word for word) and "How dare you kill a queer disabled suicidal elderly abuse victim trans neurodivergent black woman" (Black woman was added for dramatic effect but I've seen the rest of those applied to Izzy in how dare you kill him posts they'll call him elderly when he's middle aged, they'll call him an abuse victim when he's not, they'll call him suicidal when that's tenuous at best, I have also genuinely seen trans and nd which, ok...)

and it's just pleaaaaaaaase just say you're mad Izzy died I'm begging you. You can even say the show is bad I don't care, but it's just, the tantrum is too much. It's too much. I can comfort my irl Izzy liker friends and it is easy because they are saying shit like "I am sad that he died" and not "this is ableism."

[weebsinstash]

SO TRUE Im trying to enjoy my Miguel fanfics but most of them are so out of character I just can’t 😭😭

I dunno if I would exactly say out of character (partially because I don't want to imply I'm some characterization expert or whatever when I haven't published Jack shit) since I feel like, there can be different themes or emotions or vibes the story is going for that may call for some tweaking, or like certain fics focusing on specific parts of a characters personality, like "I just wanted to write him being angry and how he mighr respond whils under stress" which is valid, but like

One thing I will say that I immediately noticed when I started combing through Miguel fics is, a lot of people make him WAY too verbose and eloquent. Yeah he's a genius, yeah he gets very serious in scenes, but my god the vocabulary some people give him, the way some people have him structuring his sentences. He's not as overly detailed and formal as some people like to write. Like this is a man who says shit like "well, I guess you're just going to have to shut up and trust me" to people he's trying to rescue and, again, even when he's chasing down Miles, he's huffing, "UGH you're so FRUSTRATING", like idk if you consider it canon but his after credits scene in Into the spiderverse literally has him meeting Spiderman 1967 who, MAKES HIM SO MAD HE DOES LIKE LITTLE HOPPY HOPS, like. This man is a DWEEB. He has a temper and threw a trashcan at a teenager! Mf literally loses it and says "¡ay coño!" over a Spider Society wide broadcast, my man livestreamed himself saying "for fucks sake" across the entire community because they didn't immediately understand which specific Spiderman he was asking them to chase the moment he asked them to "stop spiderman" and not specifying any further until, "for fucks sake, MILES MORALES 😤 he's entering sector 4!!" and also when Miles is hiding on that dude's back he's just sprinting up "he's over- on your-- TURN AROUND!!" and waving his arms around

like, he's an emotional person! He's not some like anime supervillain, he's not some demon lord sounding "it is unfortunate that you decided to behave in this manner" dialogue ass-- like I mean, I know there's only so many clips circulating online so maybe people are just. Gleaming the wrong context? Like I've seen a few "all Miguel scenes" videos on YouTube and none of them ever really capture the full context of any of the scenes, there's cuts for copyright, some people cut different parts, some clips are higher quality, but like, it really is different when you see the full movie cause I feel like a lot of people are just focusing ONLY on the parts where he's being, you know, scary as fuck. Like don't think i didn't immediately notice "oh holy shit Miguel actually put CLAW MARKS in Miles' shoulder", this man was literally chasing and diving for this kid, they were bailing out windows, there was a cat, and a t Rex, and idk, maybe I'm looking too far into it but you don't have to make him Ultra Serious to make him intimidating and scary. There's gotta be a balance I guess? I see too much of him being lowkey an edge lord and not enough of him being Just A Real Stressed Out Dude. Idk. I just keep finding written dialogue for him a little cut and dry sometimes, there's only a few things I've read where it stood out to me (like in "no more dry bites" where he's just stopping midsentence to huff "why are you being so-- ok you know what, fine--" *immediately changes tactics lowkey like a tantrum*

Like have you seen some of the concept art of him, they were originally debating giving him glasses and a 5 o clock shadow and have him looking more dorky and casual, like, the man has personality, he has depth, I want the third movie to peel his layers like an onion, I just KNOW there's gonna be a good ending for everyone 😤

I'm just sitting here and thinking like, yeah he's serious but he speaks in a very human way? Like, one thing he says to Miles is something like "you can't save them all, kid. Believe me, I've tried, and the harder I tried, the worse things got" or something along those lines, too lazy to pull up the clip, but like. Idk. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing and maybe it's just people wanting to go for certain moods but i just feel like way too many fics have him acting way too, not even serious, just kind of edgy. He's a serious guy but he still doesn't talk like he's some emotionless robot. He's gonna cross his arms. He's gonna put his hands on his hips. He's gonna roll his eyes at you. He may just even rage quit the conversation "ok, you know what, I gave you enough chances--" and just bites you because this is the quickest easiest option and better to put you out now rather than drag this out and get both of you worked up because He Is So Fucking Tired Dude

[sevicia]

My mom's started to notice how obedient I am to my sister and it's humiliating. "Why do you let her speak to you like that? You always listen to her instead of me" it's obvious now because that day they thought I was dying I only moved once my sister yelled at me, and I barely remember any of it.

It's humiliating because it's a reflex. It's not like I don't have my own will, it's not like it's weak, it's just that I can't go against her without feeling like I'll be punished for throwing a tantrum. That feeling overrides everything else.

I have no idea what I'd do if my mom ever asked me directly about it, because I know she'd blame her. I guess it started because of her, but that means they'd start fighting like crazy again and my sister would start feeling like our parents don't care about her again. Maybe telling my mom would help me feel better somehow, maybe it'd help start fixing things even though it seems impossible, but the possibility of both her and our dad turning against my sister is more than enough for me to avoid talking about it as much as possible.

There's also the fact that everyone's just gonna call me a coward and a pushover for never being able to stand up to her. I guess that's true, but it's still awful to think about being seen for what I am in such an explicit way.

Frustrating because I know for a fact it's my fault I still feel like this today. I mean, I'm better than I was 1 or 2 years ago, back then I agreed with everything she said and hid anything I thought might make her dislike me because I felt like the scum of the earth every time she got annoyed or called me stupid. I couldn't help bawling my eyes out, which I've never been able to do properly since we've always shared a room, I'm always quiet. I really wish I could just cry like a kid even just once, but I don't think I'll ever be able to.

It's my fault that I'm still like this because changing is on me. It's something no one else can ever do for me, but I'm so deep in it I know I'll die like this. I know other people have had way worse relationships with their siblings when they were kids, and they're nowhere near this level of messed up about it. I don't think "I didn't have it THAT bad" is a valid excuse, but I do think I should've gotten over it already. I just never noticed how sensitive I was because I've always had to be so quiet.

I hate that I'm like this because of something I should've gotten over by now. I hate that I can't tell anyone, but most of all I hate that I can't say it to her face because I love her so much. She's cried while telling me about how sorry she is and how guilty she feels for messing up my childhood like that, so I tell her it's okay. I don't feel okay about it, but I can't ever blame her for any of it since we were both kids. She doesn't know just how much it's affected me, whatever effect she thinks she had on me is not nearly comparable to how I've felt my whole life.

I tell her it's fine. What else am I gonna tell her? I've seen her cry out of guilt. I couldn't live with myself if I ever made her cry like that again. I resent her so much, I can't help it. It's so ugly. I have these moments where I wish she'd just die, that she'd just disappear from my life and my head one day, then I'd be free to act on my own, but thinking that way just makes me hate myself even more. It's just so disgusting, I can't stand it.

I'm going to die feeling like this. It will never leave me. I can't let it go, I don't know what'd happen if I tried. I don't want her to ever worry about anything. The way people treat her sometimes makes me sick. The way she talks to me most of the time makes me wanna vomit.

She loves me, I don't doubt this for a second. If she ever found out I feel like this, she'd call me an idiot for not telling her sooner. I can't stand the thought of that. I hate it when people do that, I don't understand it and I doubt I ever will. I don't understand why it's so important that I report on what I'm feeling whenever someone wants to "help" me, based on their own metrics. It doesn't do any good. If I said any of this out loud, I'd just start crying and make it look like it's the most horrible thing to ever happen to anyone, I just don't see the point. It achieves nothing. Feeling better is not guaranteed, and even if it was it would still amount to nothing.

I hate crying because it just feels so pathetic. I don't think it makes me weak or anything like that, it's just embarrassing to act so dramatic, especially when I'm known to never cry unless it's from laughing or watching a movie or a show or something like that. It's shallow, but I'm also aware of how much more repulsive I look when I cry. I looked in the mirror once while I cried, and the disgust made me stop, wash my face and go back to being a normal person immediately. It was different to how my stomach usually drops when I see my face. It felt like something was actually wrong with my body.

[futuregws]

Update on my opinion on the bear, since I started a conversation about ships and the show itself I will make two separate posts for this, this one is about ships (I'm currently on ep 6 season 2 btw).

So basically my opinion is the same but stronger I guess, I don't get it, Syd and Marcus so far I HIGHLY doubt anything will happen he definitely has a crush on her but I'm not sure she likes him, but still I personally feel like they would work a lot better, still I don't personally ship them I just prefer them, about Syd and Carmy all I'm seeing is a friendship/partnership that people are trying too fucking hard to make it something else, I've seen their shippers throw literal tantrums when people rightfully bring up the fact that men and women being close does not equal a relationship or romantic feelings, they seem to like to use that against others a lot by also adding small little scenes to "prove their point" and what's even more ridiculous is how mad they get when people say that they only ship them as platonic soulmates, like am I obligated to ship Syd and Carmy romantically to be a fan of the show, bc if so let me know bc I will piss out I don't wanna deal with that behavior. Like there's this war between the people that think it's platonic and the people that think it's romantic and once again like in so many other fandoms they seem to have this superiority complex (some of them). But at the end of the day if you wanna ship them, go for it, but other people don't have to, and when you bring up scenes like his panic attack or the fridge scene and say shit like this:

Like no it won't become invalid.

It's as if your opinion/take on a scene is the only correct one therefore others need to see it the same way, it's absolutely insane, specially if you then go and see what the actors say about their characters and their "relationship" and it completely contradicts what the shippers are going for, like the whole, oh him calming down thinking about her during a panic attack is peak romance, thing gets completely crushed by all of this

Like dude this is what jeremy said:

And this is what Ayo said:

Soooo, maybe don't act like your opinion is above others when the actors would literally agree with the people calling them platonic, you know the ones that y'all like to call delusional and say that their opinion is invalid. Y'all like to make fun of this (which is very strange like what year did y'all get stuck on) but yeah men and women can be friends/best friends/coworkers hell whatever tf without romantic feelings, like do y'all fall in love with every single person you meet/all of your friends, are y'all okay?? No one is in denial no one's opinion is invalid here YOU ship them, doesn't mean it's romantic or that anyone else needs to see them as such or that they have to be.

Anyway I will give my opinion on the actual show in a minute (even though no I'm not finished yet lol)

[skywarpie]

On Twitter, a new photo of Tobias (from the Grammys) dropped. Apparently the picture wasn’t meant to be shared. I guess it was accidentally uploaded but now people on Twitter are gonna argue about it, saying, “too late, it’s already out there.” I guess the fandom could collectively delete the photo and all their posts about it like they did with the leaked 9/11 picture from L.A. But if you’re wondering what the people are complaining about now…it’s that lol.

Honestly the entitlement that ghost Twitter has is insane. They whine and complain about people "respecting" tobias and the other band members lives/privacy but then turn around and upload preteen pics of him bc "hehe its already on the internet!!" Then have a literal tantrum when they're called out. Like I literally saw a post OUTING a random stranger that a user tracked down bc they "looked at me weird when I stepped into the VIP tent." Like is that not fucking weird that you STALKED a literal stranger??? There's also the whole "trying to converse with jutty and Chris like we're friends" thing which is even weirder.

I've also seen them complaining about merch quality like okay, don't buy it then? Like go fucking touch a cow smh

[deathenfield]

So, I just saw Skinamarink...

And I have so many thoughts! I guess this is an analysis(?) of the film, but it's mainly just going to be me putting down several thoughts and ideas down I had as I mulled over the film:

This film feels extremely similar to a Junji Ito novel, which might be because Junji Ito pioneered his own brand of horror. There's this wonderful post by @cryptotheism that delves into the difference between Lovecraft's brand of horror and Ito's. Basically, In a lot of Ito's works, the horror comes from doing everything right, making all the right decisions, and still suffering an unimaginably cruel fate. The horror is that there is nothing to prevent the awful things happening to you, which is exactly what happens in Skinamarink. Hell, we even see the kids do everything right! The literal first things they do is try to find their dad, and when they can't they attempt to call (what I assume is) a friend of their dad's, and then the police. They leave the lights on in the house. They whisper so that whatever is in the house won't hear them. None of it matters. The only reason the Skinamarink even lets Kevin call the police or lets them have their TV is because none of it will help them.

It's a film about cruelty. I feel like the biggest reason it's so effective as a horror film is because it's happening to children. The empathetic part of you wants so desperately to reach out and save them because culturally (at least in American media) there's an absolutely huge no-no about harm happening to kids. Bad things rarely happen to kids in media, and when they do, the kids always get a happy ending. This is not the case. Kevin and Kaylee will be tortured for eternity by a malicious entity and nothing will save them. There's also the part in you that was once a child, that knows what it's like to be so utterly helpless in a scary and confusing world. So many people say this is a movie about abuse and, like, yeah. To have your house become an inescapable prison, to be subjected to the cruel whims of a powerful figure that can protect but chooses to use their power to subject unimaginable cruelty to you - that as a child you have no means of protecting yourself, or even comprehending, the horrors that are happening to you. This film acknowledges the terrifying helplessness of being a child and it's honestly kind of wonderful for that. Seeing the terror I felt as a child being put to film almost feels cathartic, like being seen. No wonder it resonates with so many people.

The Skinamarink letting them have their TV, letting Kaylee see her parents and having them tell her they love her, letting Kevin call the police and turning the phone into a toy halfway through. I'm just sort of struck by how cruel it is. Letting them have spots of hope purely just so it could take it away from them. Torturing them for years only because it finds the suffering of children funny. Props to the movie for creating a monster that sounds almost cartoonishly evil on paper and still managing to make it completely terrifying.

The Skinamarink, for an all-powerful malicious entity, is surprisingly child-like. When it wants to play with Kevin and he refuses, it makes him hurt himself, like it's tantruming. Whenever Kevin is confused or in pain, the entity just laughs and giggles. Is there a reason the Skinamarink specifically targets these children, because an adult in this situation would be way harder to torment? Perhaps, you could say, the Skinamarink is just a bully given god-like power, that preys on children because they are weak and helpless. I've seen more than one post talking about how they would defeat the Skinamarink and like, that's not the fucking point. Of course you could probably defeat it, you're an adult with rational thinking skills, that's why it targets children.

Kaylee, despite being only six and two years older than her brother, is forced to be the adult in this terrifying situation. Having to take care of her brother, find solutions to their problems, be the one to face the brunt of the terror on her own. I can only assume that one of the reasons that the Skinamarink sealed her mouth and eyes and took her away from Kevin is because she has more autonomy than Kevin, more ability to disobey the entity. It needs someone even more helpless than her to torture.

The two of them saying "I love you" to each other in the beginning. Aaauauguhghughughh.

Yeah that's it lol. I might think of more later but god damn, this movie a lot to think about.

[yikes-ajax]

Yikes! No blog intro? No longer!

What's UP my DUDES, it's time to sit the FUCK up (seriously, straighten your back you animal) and LISTEN UP. I am the MOST disinteresting person you will EVER meet and yet here we are. My name is AJ or sometimes Roary (if you know you know, hey besties) and have the stupidest cat ever and that's IT. But to fill the void in my metaphorical and dead heart, and really just to appease my need to feel special, here's the basics.

I am:

- An adult (aka throwing more temper tantrums than I did as a kid)

- Bisexual

- Genderfluid, literally any pronouns are fine (just nothing dehumanizing, if you care)

- American (insert sigh here)

- Disabled (mobility and neurological)

Blog Navigation

Main: 🌟 You're here!

Sims blog: @yikes-a-simmer

Vent blog: @yikes-ajax-thats-sad

Trauma blog: @puppydog-eyes-kittycat-claws

Dogboy blog: @weewoof

Under the cut is just some extra info if you really feel like boring yourselves ↓

The

Nitty Gritty

For those who care about the details for some reason??

- I alternate between canes, crutches, and a wheelchair (my dad once called my car a medical store) so when I make stupid jokes about being crippled or shit it's because I'm disabled and don't know how to cope

- You don't need my health records (I am a simp for my neurologist and don't need your opinions from five minutes of searching google), but what I occasionally talk about and am comfortable sharing is that I have functional neurological disorder (fnd), non-epileptic seizures (thanks fnd), poor mobility (thanks again fnd), and so... So many mental issues, as you can probably guess, such as PTSD, the spicy kind of depression that needs 3 different meds to stabilize, a sensory processing disorder I was diagnosed with so long ago I don't remember the name of (is that mental or physical??), and other bullshit

- I've got severe social anxiety but I'm trying my best to get out of my shell, so don't hesitate to interact, just forgive my rambling and nervousness

- Surprise, surprise, I have dissociative identity disorder (did), and yes, I'm traumagenic if you really must use such stupid terms. I don't give a fuck about dumb syscourse, I think endos are offensive af but what do I know, I can't even parallel park and know how to stay in my own lane. I've been in the DID community, you can probably guess who I was if you do enough digging but I have no interest in revisiting that side of the Internet, it is the most toxic community I have ever seen

- I sometimes go dark, but I'm fine, I'm likely just busy or obsessed with a video game and my queue has ran out

Current interests (stuff I post in-between cat pics when I feel inclined): Critical role / dnd, star wars, crochet

Video games: Ark: survival evolved, star wars criminals, Minecraft teehee, Red dead redemption (1 and 2, yeehaw), skyrim

The

Cast

Rosie (the reject) and PJ (the pacifist turned genocidal but still total baby)

Rue (the mean ass) and Allie (the bottom of the food chain that is in perpetual fear, but hey, she has an extra toe so that's cool)

Meadow (weapon of mass destruction)

And me, AJ (the bitchass blog runner you'll hopefully never see the face of)

Do not interact:

My neighbors cat 😤😡🖕😾

Encouraged to interact:

Aliens, goblins, werewolves (hey mamas 😎), marine biologists, people who ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, little guys, little clown guys (THIS IS A SAFE SPACE FOR CLOWNS, I REPEAT, SILLY LITTLE GUYS ARE WELCOME!!), those discontent with their mortal flesh and wish to break to endless spiral of human destruction, little meow meows, anarchists, Dr. Gregory House (please fix me sir), that one hot chick from that one show I watched that one time, DILFS PLEASE, and stupid little fdufcking.. stupid little bitches

All in all,

I'm just here to have a good time and bring some laughter to anyone who wants it. My favorite thing to do is laugh and crack jokes, and if I can make someone else laugh with me, then my purpose here on earth is done. Though, I have a very dry and sarcastic humor that I know can sometimes be hard to read, so please just understand that I'm usually just playing around! I promise I'm not as mean as I seem!

You don't need to worry about anything upsetting here, I try not to post or reblog anything that could dampen someone's day, because not only are y'all here to escape, I am too. This blog will always be safe, I have no interest in discourse, don't care about a DNI, and rarely bother checking who follows me unless you're talking to me. Anonymous asks are on for fellow socially anxious lurkers that wanna talk, but be warned— don't diss my cat 👹

Thanks y'all, love you guys. Stay safe and sleep well ❤️

[twst-x-homestuck-askblog]

INTRODUCTIONS AND RULES ):<B

carcinoGeneticist has started a memo on Thaumbler

CG: ALRIGHT, THE REST OF YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M GOING TO EXPLAIN TO THESE NON-STUDENTS WHAT IN THE SEVEN FORSAKEN WE ARE DOING IN HERE, AND IF ANYONE TALKS IN HERE BESIDES ME I'M GOING TO HUNT YOU DOWN LIKE THE JUNIORS FROM THIS GOD FORSAKEN DORM I'M IN. GA: Karkat, I'm Positive That It Would Be Better For Me To Explain This In The Current Situation GA: Ahem, Pardon Him, Dear Viewers. My Name Is Kanaya Maryam, But You May Know Me As Mod Maryam, While The Creator Of The Memo Is Karkat Vantas, or Mod Karkat. GA: You See, Me And Karkat, Together With Other Lucky (Or Maybe Unlucky, Depending In Their Views) Students, Are A Friend Group At Night Raven College, One Of The Most Prestigious Magical Academies In Our World, Twisted Wonderland. GA: We Collectively Decided To Introduce Ourselves By Our Names, Class, Homeland, And Dorm So You May Ask Us About Our Particular Experience In Night Raven College So Far. CG: MY FUCKING TURN, SHUT UP NOW. CG: SINCE I'VE SEEN SOME OF THE BULLSHIT THE PEOPLE IN THAUMBLR CAN PULL, I'M LAYING DOWN SOME GROUND RULES AND YOU BETTER FOLLOW THEM IF YOU DON'T WANT US TO TALK WITH THE HEADMAGE. NO SNITCHING ON MAGICAM TOO, OR I'LL PERSONALLY COME AFTER YOUR FUCKIGN THROAT.

RULE NUMBER 1: NO WEIRD SHIT. WE ARE ALL FRESHMEN, AKA WE ARE MINORS, SO ANY FUNNY BUSINESS WAY TOO DEEP IN WHATEVER STUFF AND YOU GET A BIG FUCKING BLOCK.

RULE NUMBER 2: SAY WHO YOU ARE ASKING STUFF, WE MAY BE MAGES BUT WE DON'T HAVE A MAGIC BALL OF ALL-KNOWINGNESS TO GUESS WHO YOU MEANT.

RULE NUMBER 3: IF YOU ARE OUR HAUSEWARDENS AND YOU SAW THIS BLOG NO YOU FUCKING DIDN'T (AKA VIL AND RIDDLE DNI. FUCK IT, AZUL TOO, YOU'RE ON THIN FUCKING ICE)

RULE NUMBER 4: JUST ME AND KAN POST, BECAUSE THESE OTHERS HOUSEWARDENS BOOTLICKERS ARE TOO BUSY FOR THIS APPARENTLY? SO IF WE DIDN'T GET TO YOU, WAIT, AND IF WAITING DOESN'T WORK, WAIT MORE I GUESS, WE ARE IN A SCHOOL AFTER ALL.

RULE NUMBER 5: YES YOU CAN PRY A BIT ON WHAT WE ARE DOING AND WHATNOT, BUT WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY HELL FUCKING NO IF WE WANT TO, SO... THINK BEFORE ASKING OR WHATEVER.

GA: Have You Finished Your Tantrum Filled Rant, Or Should I Wait More For The Introductions? CG: REALLY NICE WAY TO SAY SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK. GO.

GA: As You May Have Seen, There Are Quite A Bit Of Us, So I Will Try To Keep This Short. Each Of Us Wrote A Bit As To Make Mine And Karkat's Work Easier. I'm Kanaya Maryam, I'm From Class 1-A, I Come From The Land Of Scalding Sands And Am From Ignihyde, Much To My Dismay. I'M KARKAT VANTAS, I'M FROM CLASS 1-A, I'M FROM THE QUEENDOM OF ROSES AND AM FROM THE SEVEN FORSAKEN POMEFIORE. Hell0 there 0u0. I'm Aradia Megid0, I'm fr0m class 1-B, am fr0m the Briar Valley and study f0r Scarabia. hI, I'M TAVROS NITRAM. i'M IN CLASS 1-E, I WAS BORN ON, UH, THE SUNSET SAVANNAH AND AM IN OCTAVINELLE (:{ ii'm kiiliing you for thi2 KK. Ii'm 2ollux Captor, Cla22 1-C, 2haftland2 and in fuckiing 2avanaclaw. :33< *tackles you on the ground* Hii! I'm Nepeta Leijon, in class 1-D! I'm furrm Sunset Savannah and am in Purrmefiore with Karkitty! Hiii! H3H3H3! H1 K4RKL3S 4ND K4N >:] 1'M T3R3Z1 PYROP3 FROM CL4SS 1-A 4ND 4M 1N H34RTSL4BYUL. 1'M FROM TH3 SH4FTL4NDS >:] (ALT: hehehe! Hi Karkles and Kan. I'm terezi Pyrope From Class 1-A and am in heartslabyul. I'm from the shaftlands) The name is Vriska Serk8 (Serket for the NERDS!). I'm in class 1-C and am from the Shaftlands. Since I'm soooooooo cool I'm in Diasomnia ::::) D-> Oh my... My name is Equius Zahaak, and I'm from the Shaftlands, though there is STRONG evidence of my birth being from the great Briar Valley. I'm in class 1-B and in the Ignihyde dorm. HoNk. NaMe's gAmZeE MaKaRa, FrOm cLaSs 1-e. I'M FrOm tHiS MiRaClE MoThErFuCkInG PlAcE CaLlEd fLeUr cItY. i'm iN OcTaViNeLlE ToO :o) i'm named Eridan Ampora, and am a noble from the Coral Sea. I study in class 1-D and am in... the fuckin savanaclaw, irk. )(I! 38D i'm Feferi Peixes and am in class 1-D!!! my )(homeland is the Coral Sea and i'm in the Octavinelle dorm!!! 38)

GA: I Do Believe This Is Everyone, So We Are Ending The First Introductory Post. CG: IF YOU DON'T LEAVE ASKS WE ARE GONNA CURSE YOUR BLOODLINE OR WHATEVER. GA: Don't Speak On My Regard, Karkat.

-Mod Karkat and Mod Maryam

[ngkiscool]

Next please

The weekly prompt of @flashfictionfridayofficial was FFF202 The Devil You Forgot

Fandom: Lucifer (Good Omens if you squint), 830 words, no cw

"Next please!" My station was empty, but no one approached it. On the one hand, if offered me a few seconds of relatively rest, but on the other hand, if forced me to shout. Can't be seen resting, not during the rush hour at the Higher Ground.

It was noon of a rather lovely day, finally a sunny day after a week of showers. People strolled in the street, couples shared brief kisses when they thought no one was looking, even the people with the really expensive suits walked a bit slower and enjoyed the rare weather.

Warm beams of sun filtered through the curtains and shed light on the coffee shop, colouring the place with picturesque shades. It also nearly blinded me unless I squinted, despite the many, many times I asked the manager to fix the curtains.

The queue was longer than I've seen in a long time, and not just because of the weather. As if the regular costumers weren't enough, there was a reinforcement – people from the comic con just around the corner.

All day long, I had to deal with costumers who gave me the most unusual names and throw a tantrum if I spelled their name wrong. Some, God forbid, had even asked me which costume they were wearing, and seemed genuinely hurt when I hadn't recognized which TV show it was from.

Honestly, I don't have anything against adult people who dress up as creatures who only exist in a fantasy world. Some of the costumes were pretty, and it was clear that making them required a lot of time and skills. But, just like I don't go around and show my latest sewing art to bus drivers, I don't pay too much attention to my clients' costumes. All I want from them is place a not complicated order and leave a big tip. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Next in line!" I called again, a bit louder this time, and it worked. A costumer approached me, and I started the usual drill of taking their order. Things went smoothly, or as smooth as can be expected when one orders coffee, and I started to relax. Maybe that costumer will act normal through our whole interaction, and won't demand me to guess what was his costume.

It was a good one, I'll give them that. The suit was expensive looking, but nothing a person of means can't find easily. The wings, thought, they looked almost real. They were white, and big, each feature moved separately, and the wings even moved in coordination with his shoulders. Even after seeing a parade of costumes all day long, they seemed special. Like I said, I'm not interested in cosplays myself, but as an artist (and yes, sewing is an art, thank-you-very-much) I can appreciate craftsmanship when I see one.

Usually, people love to get compliments on their costumes, but something vibed weird with this person, so I decided to refrain from commenting. The opportunity, thought, rose when he finished the order, and I asked for his name. The voice matched his outfit – silken, strong, and confident.

"Lucifer".

"I see you are really in the character, even the wings and everything!"

"In character?" A red glint shone in his eyes, gone before I had the chance to complain about the curtains. Maybe if the manages received complaints from customers, not just employees, he would do something about it. One can only hope.

"Yes, with the wings and everything. Very impressive, if you don't mind me saying. Are you participating in the cosplay contest? I'm sure you will win first place."

"Cosplay?"

The temperature in the coffee shop dropped suddenly, and I shivered despite being all hot from being near the oven. The air conditioner hadn't changed, and it didn't look like the other clients had noticed it. Weird.

"Never mind, it's been a long day. I'll just make the order, and here is a piece of lemon cake, on the house".

At last, the coffee was ready, the cake packaged and together napkin and utensils, the take-away bag was handed to him. Our fingers touched briefly, and I felt a chill running through my body, but it was very short. Long day indeed.

I turned to clean the coffee machine, and when I finished and turned to the till again, I was surprised to find a twenty note on it. It was unexpected for two reasons: firstly, it was quite a large sum, as usually people left a fiver or a tenner. Twenty was very rare. Secondly, and even more unusual, was the fact that I hadn't served any costumer in the past few minutes.

Anyway, as my experience at costumer service taught me not to question money, I took the note. Attached to it was a small, white feather, but that hadn't helped to explain how it got there.

Confused, I shook my head, and got back to my work. "Next please!"

[bisnes-socks]

last post on this i promise.

as my post about how rude certain swedish people are being to finland over eurovision (honestly i still can't believe this is happening over a song contest) is gaining notes, i just wanted to take a minute to say:

i'm sorry about notes and comments in the post that seem to be anti-sweden in general. my intention was not to be hostile towards an entire nation - that would be quite hypocritical of me considering the post i made.

(though i will say, i've seen exactly three swedish people, in official media or on social media, being civil about this. the rest of the loud ones all accuse us of cheating, bc apparently it's possible for 5.5 million people to be in on a scam on sweden)

but for context:

from a finnish perspective, this is just another straw on the camels back, and the back is cracking dangerously. push has come to shove.

because in the bigger picture..

from a finnish perspective it seems that swedes either don't know anything about us or still believe in negative stereotypes about us - see a study made by having 1000 swedes participate in workshop conversations (link in finnish) about what they thought of finland, when finland was celebrating 100 years of independence in 2017.

from a finnish perspective it seems they don't even want us to be finnish - see this article about how finnish speakers in sweden are still told not to speak finnish (link in finnish) and how they've essentially abolished teaching finnish (link in finnish) even though it has an official minority language status.

and since Expressen wants to make it about history by calling us the "former eastern part of the kingdom" (🙃) we could really start getting into how Sweden treated Finns historically, and how, ironically enough, Finns were initally allowed to be more Finnish under Russian rule than Swedish rule. because again, from a finnish perspective, Sweden has never been nothing but rude and condescending towards us.

these are probably things a lot of Swedish people don't know or have forgotten about - i wouldn't be surprised if they didn't teach this in schools in Sweden. the reason i'm sharing these things is that to us, this is the country now trashing us over friendly competition.

throwing a tantrum over the one fucking time we do well in something they consider "their thing", is just another day of them being condescending, mean, stand-offish, superior and even cruel towards us. and this time we've kinda had it, bc they have no idea, no idea, what Käärijä and Cha Cha Cha meant for us culturally.

no. fucking. idea. how much he has meant to us this year.

and that's why we're so mad. we know they're trolling. we know they're being childish and insecure.

but we were so happy. we were so fucking happy for him and because of him. he made us so proud of our country, our culture and our language (none of which would exist if sweden had its way btw) and they just had to try and shit all over it. and make it as cruel as they could.

so yeah we're upset that swedish people keep trashing us but the truth is we're used to it. i guess we just didn't think they would honestly do it over a song contest.

[thewingedmuse]

(a) Danielle, or D.A

(b) She/they

(c) Romantic, as I've had abusive relationships and people cheating on me, so I want to have a glimpse of my love life :')

(d) I feel like love is just caring for someone to the point that you feel their pain, happiness, sadness, and anger, and find yourself resonating and compiling with it... someone who's there for the whole rollercoaster, whether its romantic, platonic, friendship, or any other type of love

ofc I'll give feedback, and have a wonderful day!

Hello! Thank you for joining Your Entwined Bonds! Hope you're well 🐚 ✨

Danielle, your soul is graceful and swan-like. She has soft brown skin, doe-like brown eyes, dark hair and very bright aura. She is ethereal. The brightness of her aura isn't blinding but soft, like how the morning sun could be seen in its full radiance from behind lace curtains. Her energy feels like clam shells and pearls, it also reminds me of fresh cream and lace with how soft, smooth and fragrant her energy is. She has a very soft and gentle voice with a melodious quality. She has elegant demeanor, and when speaking she would nod her head and smile softly.

I asked if I could tap into her essence in order to give you more knowledge about her. She agreed. She was originally a creature borne by the lake, like an elemental being. There were vibrant red and pink flowers growing by the lake which she very much enjoyed. With time she gained a sense of self from being by the lake absorbing its natural essence. This is the origin of how she came to be.

Your soul's message to you

"Tell her I said hello. Tell her the world outside is tough, and to trust herself. Trust in your abilities even if you doubt. Find your inner balance. If anything, you're capable enough."

After your soul has imparted her message, I asked if she could lead the way to your romantic soulmate who missed you the most. She agreed, and gestured forward.

I bowed to her in gratitude, and walked along the direction she showed me. I didn't know where I was going but before long I came across a guy.

He has dark brown skin. Seems a bit goofy with his mannerisms because he has very expressive body language that shows just what he's thinking. He has a patient, casual voice that relaxes you and makes you laugh. His build looks between athletic and average, he's quite tall with broad shoulders. He looked lost and confused lol. He stopped walking when he saw me.

"Uh do you know what you're doing here?" I asked him.

"Yeah I'm," he said while looking back at your soul's direction. "I'm called for an interview?"

"Yeah, you're Danielle's soulmate right?"

"Yeah that's right."

"Would you like to tell Danielle your name?"

He told his name which I'll send to you in private. Names hold power and it's best not to share it in public.

As this conversation progressed like an interview, my questions would be in highlight.

What do you think about the past lives you shared with Danielle?

"They were challenging but introspective, we learned things about each other that we otherwise wouldn't be able to. Multi-perspective."

What's your perfect day like?

"Out spending time with myself, kayaking, camping under the stars, just doing my own thing. Might bring my dog. Ask Danielle to join me, if she will," he said those last three words softly, tenderly.

What's your favourite memory in your past lives with Danielle?

"Making popcorn, I remember it popped so hard it got onto her," he laughed. "Watching TV, movie nights. Holding hands. Her walking in front of me, it's like I could see only her, man. It's like she's a whole new world opening up to me and I could barely take my eyes off her. She's that special. And her being herself, throwing some tantrums. My baby and I always make up the very next day. Couldn't keep our hearts apart. I guess that's what love makes you."

How long ago was the popcorn past life?

"Very long ago, when we used to cook popcorn, when TV wasn't even in colour."

What movies did you both enjoy?

"Shark movies. Ophelia, there was a while where she particularly enjoyed Hamlet too."

What are the memories you believe Danielle needs to remember about her past lives with you?

"Remember the lessons we learned from it so that it won't be repeated."

What lessons did you learn from your past lives with her?

"That it's OK to just be alone. It's OK to do your own thing and not mind what others say."

What lessons do you think Danielle learned from her past lives with you?

"Not blame herself. Not carry that self blame and self doubt, or self hatred in her heart. Sometimes she gave in too much. She gave too much of herself away."

What is the common theme in your past lives with Danielle?

"Sharing each other's burdens. Camaraderie. We get each other. We know each other. We are like that missing jigsaw puzzle. We support each other." There were some lives in which you were not a couple but very close friends and you shared this kind of dynamic too.

Will you be meeting Danielle as your present incarnation?

"I certainly hope so," he said. Though he fears there would be a problem with time, like right place wrong time kind of thing. He said things like this cannot be predicted or controlled, you just live with it.

What is your present incarnation like?

"Unique, struggling to either fit it or stand out because he's so different from the others, alienated, has issues about self presentation and he just needs to figure it out with time and maturity because maturity is gathered with experience and insight." He could have a future as a performer or artist, it's his talent. He struggles with his own gender though, curious about being more female-leaning.

What message do you have for Danielle?

"It's OK to be alone. Seek help if you need. Don't be like bottled up." He really wished that you would ask for help when you need and not be averse to approaching others too.

What do you wish you could have done or done more with Danielle in your past lives?

"Cook food, try out new recipes, experiment with wild things, just totally let ourselves go, chase dreams,go on a yacht ride, go crazy!"

What are your parting words with Danielle?

He would like to sing you a lullaby so you'd sleep and that's how he's gonna slip away while you're sleeping peacefully. He wants you to know that the next time you see stars notice how bright they are because that's how much love he has for you. "Goodbye," he said, waving gently.

That's it! I hope this reading gave you insight, warmth and many happy feelings. Please remember to give feedback! Take care! Have a lovely day and a restful night.

[thisdumbassmyk]

Looking back, it was kinda super obvious. Not to me, of course, it probably would've been easier then. I mean, in preschool I had to wear this dress for graduation, and yeah, it was a cute dress. However, I fucking hated it. I told my mom it was because of this rose on it that scratched my skin, which yeah it was extremely uncomfortable, but I absolutely did not want to wear it. But I still wanted to go trick or treating dressed as a princess or a witch. But every summer, I was outside playing shirtless. I remember when my mom told me I had to start wearing a shirt, I threw a tantrum. When I started developing, my mom had to remind me to wear a sports bra. I was a runner, which is what my dad was. I guess wanting to be exactly like my dad was a pretty big hint too, huh?

I hated womens clothing, I hate how it fit my body, how it made me look, I mostly hated that it shrunk to my body so much, making it impossible to hide the lumps on my chest that I begged God to not give me. But then, my brother started calling me a d*ke, and I figured I should probably make an effort. So despite having my mom and my sister teach me all about the right clothes and how to do my makeup, somehow it came out all wrong. I ended up doing the whole "way too smokey" eyeshadow thing, and putting way too much lipstick on. Obviously, it had to be bright red or black too, which made all of it worse.

The hair though? Ponytails all the way up until I begged my mom for the infamous pixie cut. She refused, and said I should get a bob instead, "Just in case you don't like it!". I absolutely loathed that bob. But then I found Bo Burnham's "My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay" song and came out as bi to my mom with that song. Then begged for the pixie cut again and somehow that worked ?? Still sorta confused on that whole thing.

I started dressing more and more like me. Right before I came out, I started trying to dress feminine, like lesbian style fem. That's when I realized I must just be a really masc bi woman. Crazy right? Then I got my mom to buy me a pair of boys pants (that definitely didn't fit me right but thats not the point) and told her I wanted them for the big pockets. Little did I know, that was the first hint into my gender reveal that actually helped.

That was when I was about 16 years old. When I was 17, I ended up finding a group of super supportive people (most of them gay or questioning their gender) and then found Mars Wright on the clock app. He helped me realize that I could be transgender. That it was something that was possible for me, even though I had grown up seeing my mom watch "I Am Jazz", I still felt like it wasn't something I could ever do.

I ended up coming out online (and socially, except for my parents), on February 26th, 2020. It's almost been 5 years since I've been out. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to even change my name, and I definitely haven't been able to get on hormones. Now, that future I had wished for, that I prayed to God that I would eventually get, it seems like a fantasy. It seems like something that I won't be able to achieve in my lifetime. And although I didn't realize I was trans until just a couple years ago, It's something I didn't realize was missing from my life. I always felt like a weirdo growing up, the odd man (girl) out. Once I realized who I am, my life felt like the puzzle pieces were beginning to come together.

All I want is to achieve my goal. My goal of living the life I want. Being a contributing member of society as a man. Being seen as a man in the world. Legally. But it seems like that dream is put on hold for now, and most likely a long time.